When Toner Won’t Take: A Sarasota Gray Blending Story Behind The Chair
Hi, I’m Grace—a hair stylist in Sarasota, Florida, where I specialize in Curly Hair and Gray Blending. And this is a story from one of my more recent gray blending clients, and how i experienced this frustrating situation.
Not every appointment goes exactly as planned. And i think its super important for those stories to be told and talked about.
The Client: Let’s Call Her Kate
Kate reached out to me after finding my website. She had this beautiful salt-and-pepper natural gray growing in, with nearly all white hair growing around the face and darker strands scattered through the back. She told me she was tired of coloring it every three weeks and wanted to embrace both her grays and her curls—two things she had hidden for years.
Her message said:
“I have curly hair that I almost always blow dry straight… I want to learn how to embrace my curly while also blending my grays in with my hair because I’m sick of coloring it…”
I was immediately excited to meet her. We booked a consultation, talked about a soft, natural gray transition using highlights and lowlights to match the pattern of her regrowth, and planned for a full curly cut and styling session at a later appointment.
Our first goal? Create a low-maintenance blend that matched her natural gray pattern, without the harsh demarcation line or the warm dark blonde that she’s been getting done for years.
The First Appointment: Lifting… But Not Quite Toning
Kate came in with years of permanent color—warm dark blonde all over with some grown out highlights and lowlights with a lot of brassiness. I decided to do a partial highlight and lowlight using, paul mitchell permanent color for the lowlights, I ended up doing 6A to match her dark grown out roots in the back. and decided on using Wella Color Touch for toning because i use that on almost all of my clients and it has always worked so well.
The salon that i work out of, is actually a Paul Mitchell salon. So we only carry Paul Mitchell color, unless i bring in my own Wella. Which i do a lot of the time.
The highlight (bleach) foils lifted nicely, and everything looked like it was going to plan. But when I went to apply the toner, something strange happened: nothing.
I used Wella Color Touch 9/61for the front where we wanted it to be brighter/lighter and 8/81 for the back where everything was a little darker. And I have used this Exact formula so many times in the past for other gray transitions. I have always loved it, and have never had any issues with it… until now. Tried heat, tried patience—and still the color wasn’t taking. The toner oxidized (as it always does), but it didn’t do anything to the hair underneath. The unbleached sections of her hair stayed brassy and yellow, especially in the front where we had previously talked about going a bit lighter to match her natural white regrowth.
I didn’t do a ton of foils, cause she was already in a decent spot, depth wise, throughout most of her head. and i thought that my unproblematic Colortouch toner would work its magic like always.
In the rush of the day (and because I had to leave by a certain time), I styled her curls and taught her some curly hair basics, since this was my first time styling her hair. and one of her first times wearing it curly. But we didn’t have time to dry it or for me to fully asses the color. She left happy—but I had a little knot in my stomach that something might be off.
A few days later, she texted me:
“The top, in the front, looks yellow to me… and is so much lighter than the rest of my hair. Hopefully this can be fixed with a few lowlights?”
And this was due to the toner not taking on any of the hair that wasn’t in foils/lightened with bleach. and the part about the front being lighter than the rest is from following her natural growth pattern, which we talked about. but since the color didn’t take the way it was supposed to it ended up being a pretty stark difference.
Why Didn’t the Toner Take?
So let’s talk about what happened. Kate had been coloring her roots for decades (like most women) —putting down layer after layer of permanent pigment. (All of which she said was at a salon and I believe it.) Over time, that pigment doesn't just go into the cortex and move some things around… It hangs on for dear life. Especially when you are overlapping that permanent color-
Toner, especially demi-permanent color like Wella Color Touch, relies on having access to the inside of the hair strand to deposit tone. But if the cuticle is too compact or too full (aka saturated with previous color), the toner has nowhere to go. It just...sits there.
Even heat didn’t help, because the hair hadn’t been lifted at all in some of those areas. Bleach lifts the cuticle and creates space. So on the hair that hadn’t been lightened, the toner couldn’t get in.
Lesson learned: you still have to be careful, Even if it’s salon color.
The Correction: Bleach Baths, Chelating, and a Whole Lot of Standing
When Kate came back in, we re-evaluated everything. I realized that the toner not only hadn’t grabbed—it had fully washed out in just a few days. She also mentioned that she wears her hair half-up a lot and noticed the untoned pieces in the back showing more than we expected. I knew we had to go deeper.
Here’s what I did:
Tested 3 Toners in Foils: Wella Color Touch and Illumina shades on different parts of her hair. After 25 mins, None grabbed.
More foil/highlights: Since we only did a partial when she came in the first time, we decided to go ahead and foil the rest of her head that we didn’t get to last time. Just to make sure it’s blended everywhere.
Bleach Bath: I mixed lightener, 10-volume developer, shampoo And let that sit for about 10 minutes to gently open the cuticle and hopefully loosen up some of that stupidly stubborn color without causing damage.
Olaplex Chelating Treatment: To pull out remaining color and minerals for the cleanest slate possible.
Final Toner: I mixed Wella Illumina 7/81 and 8/86 with Pastel Developer and processed it under heat for 20 minutes.
And finally—it worked. It really worked.
The blend was seamless. Her front pieces melted into her back section beautifully. The warmth was gone. Her grays looked intentional. And she left with the biggest smile.
What I Took Away from This Experience
-Always do a test strand. Especially with older color history. It saves so much time and second-guessing.
-Permanent color sticks like glue. And sometimes “permanent” is actually the correct term.
-Color removers might be the missing link. I want to start researching them more and add them to my toolkit.
-when something doesn’t go to plan, it’s okay to charge less. I ended up charging a lot less for that second 7-hour session because I wanted to make it right—and honestly it felt like such a blessing, that the first client I experienced this issue with, was such a kind and patient one.
Final Thoughts: Gray Is Brave, Beautiful, and a Little Bit Badass
Gray blending isn’t just a color service. It’s a mindset shift. It’s choosing yourself, choosing authenticity, and letting go of decades of “what you’re supposed to do.”
And as a stylist, it’s never just about the formula. It’s about listening, learning, adjusting, and putting care above everything.
If you’re starting your gray hair journey (or you’re a stylist facing a similar situation), I hope this story shows that you’re not alone—and that even when things don’t go as planned, something beautiful can still come from it.
-Ask questions about your own color history
-Or book a consultation with me here in Sarasota
I’d love to help you feel proud of your hair again.
With love and bleach baths,
Grace